Barry went to Haverford College, where he was an English major and wrote lengthy scholarly papers filled with sentences that even he did not understand. He graduated in 1969 and the Daily Local News, in West Chester, Pa., where he covered a series of incredibly dull municipal meetings, some of which are still going on.

In 1975, Barry joined Burger Associates, a consulting firm that teaches effective writing to businesspersons. He spent nearly eight years trying to get various businesspersons to for God's sake stop writing things like "RE: Enclosed please find the enclosed enclosures," but he eventually realized that it was hopeless. So, in 1983 he took a job at the Miami Herald, and he has been there ever since, although he never answers the phone.

In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary, pending a recount. His column appears in several hundred newspapers, yet another indication of the worsening drug crisis.

Barry has written a number of short but harmful books, including Babies and Other Hazards of Sex and Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States. His most recent books, Dave Barry Turns 40, Dave Barry Talks Back and Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need, have been hailed by the critics as "containing a tremendous amount of white space."

Barry lives in Miami with his wife, Beth, their son, Robert, a large main dog, Earnest, and a small auxiliary dog, Zippy. Make him an offer.